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Part
3: Blood & Love
Section
3.3: Meetings
NOTES: This is about the fluffiest section of the story. Savor it.
Takes
place roughly
during "Seeing Red" but getting to be AU enough
that the timelines won't be matching up exactly anymore.
…I'm
following lines, the blind leads the blind
So hang me or grant me a stay
You better cut me loose or hand me a noose
I didn't have the nerve to say no
I didn't have the nerve to say no
There's no end to the problem
Of a bad situation. Complication
No, no, no, no, ah
There's no end to the problem
And frustration. I need a vacation
No, no, no, no, ah
And I know I couldn't
And I know that I couldn't say no
– I
Didn't Have the Nerve to Say No
Blondie, 1978
Wow. Warren is so cool!
Andrew leans forward in excitement as Warren animatedly describes the successful
away mission. The three – well, actually four of them – are
gathered at command central, the big warehousey room of the new lair. He and
Jonathan (mostly him since Jonathan’s too sulky to do his job anymore, the
big baby) had set up the few computers they had had time to rescue from the old
lair and get things up and running. Warren seems pleased with the job they’ve
done. It helps that the mission was a success. Man, Warren’s been so stressed
out lately with all the stuff going wrong. It’s good to see him happy again.
His eyes get all shiny.
“So I mojo the girl out into the alley, right? And of course Frankie follows
me. His jaw’s all hanging open and everything. He’s totally freaked
that she actually went with me – and you guys, I swear, if you could have
seen the look on his face – it was priceless! So here comes Frankie – and
he thinks he’s gonna kick my ass for taking his girl, right?” Warren
pauses to smirk.
Andrew smirks too. Warren had only gone to Sunnydale High for a semester so they
hadn’t really gotten to know each other until after high school. But Andrew
had known Frankie Barnes. Everybody knew Frankie. Thanks to Frankie Barnes and
his friends, Andrew had once spent three hours duct taped to one of the benches
in the school commons wearing nothing but his underwear. Nobody had even noticed
him there until Harmony Kendall had almost sat on him near the end of 4th period
lunch and jumped up screaming. Then the crowd had gathered. And then the laughing
happened. And then Principal Snyder had come out an untaped him, lecturing him
the whole time… something about natural selection and accepting one’s
place in the grand scheme of things. He hadn’t paid a whole lot of attention
because he was mostly thinking about stuff like… how much duct tape hurts.
And how much he hated Frankie Barnes.
“So I pull out the stun gun and jab the girl a couple times. I make sure
Frankie gets a good look at that. I drop her, jab Frankie, then I sic the vamp
on him while he’s all distracted…”
Warren gestures toward Spike with the stun gun he still holds in his hand. He
looks way cool with a weapon. Like Han solo. Andrew can picture him fighting
off hordes of Frankie’s big dumb jock buddies. Hi-yah! Ninja Warren!
…And as the last jock falls to the ground
with a groan, Frankie cowers before the man who
has defeated him, begging for his life. Warren
raises the stun gun like a light saber. Holding
it in front of him with both hands, pointing
it at his opponent. “This is for Andrew!” he
shouts as he thrusts his weapon into his enemy’s
chest. With a steely gaze and a cool grin, Warren
watches the body drop bonelessly to the ground.
He then summons his vampire minion to finish
the job because he’s too cool to even bother
himself with a big jerk like Frankie Barnes.
Yeah. So cool.
Spike is standing a few feet away, next to one of the big steel columns, looking
around the room with a blank expression. He flinches when Warren acknowledges
him. Which is even cooler ‘cause, wow, a vampire – Spike the vampire – is
afraid of Warren. And by extension afraid of Andrew. He doesn’t get all
flinchy around Andrew or Jonathan… and he gets kinda glowery and scary when
Warren’s not in the room but he knows better than to do or say anything
mean to them. He knows he has to do whatever they say because if he doesn’t
Warren will find out. Not that Andrew tries to get him into trouble or anything.
That chip thing looks like it hurts him pretty bad. It’s actually kinda
scary to watch. But as long as Spike does what he’s told, he doesn’t
get zapped or anything, so it all pretty much works out. Spike gets that. He
behaves now. And as far as Andrew’s concerned, the less zapping the better.
Still… it’s neat to know that they have that kind of power. Just… y’know… if
they need it.
It’s pretty cool when you think about it. Warren has found a way to harness
an all-powerful creature of darkness and bend him to his will. Wielding him like
a mighty sword of vengeance to strike down those who would oppose the Almighty
Trio –
“Hey, pay attention Padawan, it gets better.” Warren is looking at
him impatiently. Andrew smiles sheepishly and nods. He’s
sure it does.
“So, the vamp drains Frankie dry, then starts in on the girl, right? And
while he’s busy with her, guess who comes staggering out the back exit,
big, dumb, and drunk?
“Ooh! Was it the Slayer?” Maybe that’s why Warren’s so happy.
Maybe he managed to defeat the Slayer in some kind of surprise epic battle. A
fight to the death pitting man against –
“Uh, no, stupid. It was Xander Harris.”
“Oh. Well, yeah, that was… gonna be my second guess.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew can see Jonathan rolling his eyes. Again.
Jeez. The little guy hardly ever says anything anymore. He’s starting to
get as creepy as the vampire. It seems like all he ever does is roll his eyes
whenever Andrew opens his mouth. Sure, Jonathan is their friend and everything,
but he hasn’t been very nice to either of them lately. They used to be able
to talk about all kinds of stuff, like – how could the Empire have possibly
been defeated by the rebels based on just one decisive naval battle and an assassination
of the head of state? But now it’s like he doesn’t take any of that
important stuff seriously anymore. He just keeps getting meaner and meaner since
the accident with that girl. Maybe he should talk to Warren about it. An attitude
like that can seriously weaken the chain of command.
“– So he’s staggering out the door like this,” Warren pantomimes
something that kinda reminds Andrew of Popeye the Sailor. Or Donkey Kong. Or
a big monkey of some sort. “Man, you should have seen the look on his face
when he saw Spike! He totally freaked. Pulled a stake from his pocket and went
after him. At first, Count Useless here just dropped the girl and stood there
looking at him. But I gave the order to
stop the guy and Bam! The vamp K.O.s him with one punch. It was great!
I mean, he was out like a –”
“– Did you kill him?” Jonathan interrupts, actually speaking
up for the first time all night. It startles Andrew enough that he kinda jumps
a little bit. Not that he’s
afraid. It just surprises him, is all.
Warren stops speaking and half-turns to face him. “What?”
“Xander,” Jonathan answers, looking Warren straight in the eye, “Did
you kill him, too?”
Okay… all of a sudden there’s this sorta heaviness in the air. It feels
all tense like it used get when he was a kid – right before his mom and
dad would start throwing plates at each other and he and Tucker would be sent
to stay with Grandma Helen for a few days. Warren and Jonathan are staring at
each other and nobody’s saying anything and Andrew is very uncomfortable.
He tries to think of something to say that won’t cause any yelling. Something
that will make everybody get along like the well-oiled criminal machine that
they are. He can’t think of anything. He looks to Spike for help, but the
vampire seems to be enjoying the tension. He’s actually showing an interest
in the conversation now. No help there. Maybe it’s a good time to go look
for the bathroom.
Andrew stands up, “Um… I’m gonna –”
Warren finally speaks, still looking steadily at Jonathan, “I didn’t
kill anybody, Short-Round. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jonathan looks disgusted. “Right. You made Spike kill them for you.”
Warren takes a couple steps toward Jonathan, getting in really close so he can
stare down into his face. “I don’t hear Spike complaining.”
Jonathan laughs and it sounds too high and kinda wheezy. “Yeah, I wonder
why.”
“Is there something you’d like to say to the group, here, Sparky?” Warren’s
mouth is a thin, tight line.
Jonathan glares at him but doesn’t say anything. Andrew fidgets nervously
and tries once again to break the tension, “Um – hey, guess what,
you guys–”
Warren narrows his eyes. “Spike!”
Spike comes to attention, cocking his head with a detached interest at the spectacle
before him. His eyes flicker from Warren to Jonathan and back again. Andrew’s
palms are all sweaty. This is bad. He wants to run. There isn’t anywhere
to go though. Why is this happening? Everything had been fine. It had all been
just fine. Then Jonathan had to go and ruin everything. Why did he have to go
and make Warren mad? Why couldn’t he just trust that Warren is doing what’s
best for them?
Jonathan holds out for a second or two but then seems to deflate. He gets even
smaller than he was. He lowers his head and mumbles so quietly Andrew can barely
hear him, “Fine. Go ahead and do whatever you want. I don’t care.”
Warren smiles, suddenly seeming to be in a good mood again. He turns to Spike
and shrugs, “Never mind. Just help the guys finish unloading those boxes
and then come meet me in my Ready Room.”
Jonathan immediately ducks behind the nearest box and starts unloading equipment
from it. Andrew breathes a sigh of relief and watches as Warren leaves the room.
Turning back to the others, he catches Spike’s eye. The vampire raises a
speculative eyebrow at him before bending down to rip the lid from one of the
boxes.
Buffy looks tired.
“So you’re telling me that Spike’s joined up with the geek squad?” she
asks incredulously.
“Hey, I’ve been saying for years that the guy’s a geek.” Xander
cradles the bag of ice against his swollen jaw. Man, nobody would ever listen
to him about Spike. And now here they are. And here – ow – is
the proof. Vindication at last. Damn. Vindication hurts.
Willow scowls down at a pile of papers on the table in front of her. “Well,
one thing we know for sure… the chip’s not working. And from the sound
of it, Spike’s been feeding on humans again.”
“‘From the sound of it?’ Hello! Credible witness here!
I saw it with my own eyes!” Ow. Not to mention felt it with his own
jaw. Willow looks up and gives him her ‘sorry’ face. She’s still
a big ol’ ball of tension these days, but Tara’s back now and she seems
to be helping her to work that out a bit. Oh god. Tara and Willow working
out tension. Xander quickly looks down at the table. Hmm. Oak. A good solid
wood – oh god!
“The girl’s gonna be okay though, right? I mean, she’ll live?” Tara
looks up at Buffy who is standing before the assembled Scoobies. Oh, thank
you Tara! Thank you for interrupting with serious thoughts.
Buffy shrugs. “The hospital wouldn’t release any information to me.
I’m sure she’ll pull through. I’m just glad Spike’s little
gang got interrupted before they could…“ she trails off, giving Xander
a quick squeeze on his shoulder. The contact surprises him. This might be the
first time she’s touched him at all since the hug at the wedding. Oh, and
here comes that sword through his chest again. He just needs to concentrate on
the pain in his jaw. Focus on the Spike situation. Push the rest aside. He wonders
if Buffy has any beer in the house. Yeah, right. Stupid thought.
“I just don’t get it. Why would Spike ever, in a million years, join
up with those guys? I mean, that’s just unacceptable!” Dawn pounds
her little fist on the table. Everyone turns to stare at her and she freezes,
mid-tirade. When she picks up again, it’s a little less dramatic. “I
mean… because… y’know,
geeks and stuff.”
“Maybe he has rabies,” Anya suggests. She’s sitting at the far
end of the table. As far from Xander as possible. With her being all demony now
and all, he’s not sure if that’s a good or a bad. Fact of the matter
is, he’s probably still too drunk to make that kind of an estimation anyway.
In the meantime, he’s just gonna deal. Try to get along. Be happy guy. He
can do happy guy. Buffy wants Anya’s input since she had the most interaction
with the new twitchy-bitey Spike – although face meets fist comes in as
a close second, interaction-wise. And if Buffy says
so, well…
“I mean, he was acting all crazy and scary,” Anya continues. “Maybe
it’s rabies. You know… like
that dog? In that one movie?”
“Cujo?” Xander offers. Then adds more quietly, “Ow.”
She looks at him suspiciously, like anything he says is gonna be some kind of
cleverly disguised attack or something. Like he’s sober enough to come up
with something subtle like that. “No, not… well, yes, like that
one too, I suppose. But I was thinking about that other one… You know, the
endearingly loyal one that had to be shot dead by the boy who loved him?”
Maybe it’s the booze, but Xander thinks he catches a funny look on Buffy’s
face when she says that. What’s up with that? Oh, but hey! He knows this
one. He snaps his fingers, “Old Faithful!”
Oh, god, why does he keep talking? His jaw feels like it’s been… well… slammed
into by a vampire’s fist.
Willow narrows her eyes at Xander. “Old Yeller, Xander. The dog was
Old Yeller. Old Faithful is the geyser. God, we’ve gone over this like,
a million times.”
“Mmph,” he concedes. The actual number is probably somewhere in the
low thirties but, hey, not gonna nitpick. Nitpicking means moving jaw and moving
jaw is a bad thing.
“Anyway, no,” Willow continues, all business. “Spike doesn’t
have rabies.”
Anya harrumphs and crosses her arms. Willow ignores her and continues. “I’ve
been going over the stuff Buffy was able to get from their lair. There are some
files here that I managed to decode but… I can’t be sure what they
are exactly. I think… I think they might have something to do with Spike’s
chip. Like, data on how it works. I’d have to take a closer look at them,
but…”
“Of course! Spike must have gone to Warren to get the chip out!” Ow.
Okay. That’s it. He’s shutting up now. No more talking. It’s just… it
makes sense. Spike knew about Warren the robot guy. Warren could probably do
it. And now Spike’s all fangy again and working with the Nerd Herd. They
scratch his back, he scratches
theirs…
“Okay, so… he gets the chip out. Then he just decides to go over to
the Dork Side?” Dawn frowns. “Why would he do that? He could have gotten
the chip out anytime. And if he wanted to hurt us, wouldn’t he just… come
hurt us? It doesn’t make sense. And anyway, Spike’s always kinda been
more of a poser than a nerd…”
“Ah, but most posers are in fact secretly nerds.” Xander smiles knowingly
and immediately winces. Okay, again… ow. He readjusts the ice
pack. He just can’t stop himself. That’s the problem. Is there a twelve
step program for witty comebacks or is he destined to suffer
alone?
Willow frowns. “Yeah, but… why would Spike join up with
those guys? I mean, he was… kinda… on our team… wasn’t
he? And – and that big humongous crush he had on Buffy? I can’t
picture him just dropping it. Something had to have happened –”
Tara and Buffy exchange something that Xander would best describe as “a
look.” There’s a definite I-have-a-secretyness to it. What’s that
all about? Come to think of it, Buffy’s been hanging out with Tara a lot
lately. Maybe there’s something going on there – oh god! Don’t
look at Buffy – No, don’t look at the table. He needs to
focus on serious thoughts. Spike killing people. Spike trying to kill him. Spike
drinking from that girl in the alley. That’s it. Serious thoughts. Spike
in the Magic Box, lunging at Anya. Oh, Evil Dead’s gonna pay for that. Fang-face
wants to kill them? Fine. They’ll kill him first.
Buffy stands up, crossing her arms in front of her. “It doesn’t matter
why he’s doing it. We know he’s killing again. He attacked Anya. He
hurt Xander. I’ve got to take him out before he hurts anybody else.”
Wow. It’s like she’s been reading his mind. Oh god… |
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