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Part
4: Blood, Love & Rhetoric
Section
4.2: Choices
NOTES: This
section coincides with the episode, Villains.
All
ugly thoughts are gone
Im sure well all be friends
Ill try to break your back
Youll try to make amends
Curse softly to me baby
and smother me with your love
Temptation comes not from hell
but from above
– My Curse
Afghan Whigs, 1993
Hes at work when he gets the call. Dawn. Crying. Hysterical. Something
about Buffy. About Tara. About Willow. Something not good.
Hey – Dawnster – slow down, there. Slow down. Take
a breath or something
He can see the foreman scowling at him out of the corner of his eye. Talking
on his cell phone at work again. Another emergency. Gonna hafta take off early.
Again. Sometimes it sucks to be a superheros sidekick.
But this isnt just another apocalypse. He can hear it in Dawns voice.
This is bad. This is something way bad. She eventually remembers to breathe.
And then she talks some more and he cant possibly be hearing it right.
Buffy missing. Tara
Tara dead. Dead? Oh god
And Willow – Willow, what?
Hes running as she talks. He forgets to ask if he can go. He runs to the
truck. He forgets his keys and has to run back to grab them from his lunchbox.
He ignores the guys gawping at him like hes some kind of crazy person.
He runs back to the truck. Starts it. Slams it into gear and is gone. One sidekick,
coming up.
He remembers both the phone in his hand and his capacity for speech at roughly
the same time.
be right there Dawnie. Sit tight. On my way. Its gonna be
okay – okay?
He hopes he didnt just lie to her.
She looks up as Willow steps through the door. Its even worse than shed
thought. With Willow in such close proximity the grief and fury shes emanating
is enough to make Anya dizzy. The light fixtures explode one-by-one as the young
witch passes by them. Anya knows enough to bite back the reminder of just how
much these sorts of things cost. Nobody understands the expenses involved in
running a small retail business. And its become blatantly obvious that
none of her friends care about that sort of thing. Not with all their, Oh,
the world is about to end. Lets all go to the Magic Box so that the forces
of darkness will have a place to find us, or their, Uh oh, demons
are attacking us! Lets just smash their heads into the expensive glass display
case and get their goo all over the merchandise.
But now terrible things are happening. Shed felt it hours ago. Had sat
up in bed, sweating and alarmed. It had gone away, just like that. Shed
thought that maybe it had simply been a nightmare. But then a few minutes ago,
as she had been on the telephone with the glass people regarding their shoddy
workmanship on the repairs to the display case, it had hit her hard enough that
she had doubled over, dropping the phone. A cry for vengeance so deep and so
dark, she had known immediately who it was from. Just as she knew that it was
not for her to answer. So she waited, here, behind her counter. She had known
that Willow would come.
Willow, she feels compelled to try, if anything to reduce the amount
of property damage taking place. But yeah, mostly because shes scared out
of her wits and doesnt know what else she can do to stop this.
Willow rudely ignores her, instead sweeping her eyes around the shop. Searching. Where
do you keep the black arts books?
Anya tries again. Something terrible has happened, I know. But you don't
have to do –
I need power, the witch cuts her off, zeroing in on the upstairs
shelves.
Anya does what she can. Shell keep trying to reason with her but she knows.
She knows whats going to come next. She takes a deep breath and tries not
to be so terribly afraid.
Spike returns and hands Warren the stun gun before scurrying back to his spot
across the room. He backs against the wall and slouches there with his arms behind
him, watching. Blood is still streaming down his face, covering his mouth, dripping
from his chin. Hes not even trying to stop it anymore. He looks terrified.
Not particularly reassuring. Warren steps closer, blocking her view of Spike.
The strap on her right wrist is a lot looser now. She just needs a little more –
Warren holds up the stun gun, about to thrust it at her. "Well think agai –"
He freezes in mid-jab, eyes wide. He makes a kind of gurgling noise and drops
the stun gun. He flails weakly at his neck – there's something sticking
from it. Buffy furrows her brow, confused. Warren drops to the floor to reveal
Spike standing behind him holding some kind of – oh! Tranquilizer
gun! He cocks his head, looking down apprehensively at the unconscious Warren
Mears, then looks at the gun in his hand. He tosses it away as if it were going
to bite him. He glances at Buffy and then comes over to her, dutifully removing
the straps.
She sits up and wipes at the blood on her face. He looks away from her, down
at Warren. She crosses her arms in front of herself, shivering. She can't think
of anything appropriate to say. She looks down at Warren as well. She blurts
the first thing that comes to mind.
"My shirt."
Spike looks up at her. He doesn't seem to understand. He looks lost. She nods
down at her shirt wrapped around Warren's hand.
"That
was my shirt." Lame. That was the lamest thing she could
have said just now.
Spike furrows his brow at her. Then recognition seems to dawn and he moves quickly,
unbuttoning his own shirt and handing it to her. Oh
it does not smell
good, but she takes it gratefully. Puts it on. Its stiff with dried blood
and dirt. Damp with fresh blood.
"Thank you."
He doesn't seem to hear her. He drops to one knee beside Warren and feels for
a pulse, pulling the dart out as he does so. Buffy looks around, spying the rest
of her clothes in a pile by the door. She jumps off the table and hurries over
to them. When she's dressed again she approaches Spike cautiously, pausing to
pull off a chunk of scorched wood from a nearby pallet. She stands behind him,
holding her makeshift stake. He is still kneeling over Warren with his back to
her. Now she knows what skin and bones really looks like. She grimaces
and makes a mental note to eat an entire pizza when this is over. She easily
finds the spot where the stake should go. A quick upthrust from just below the
sharp plane of shoulder blade, between the sixth and seventh rungs of the ladder
of ribs. All it would take. She can count the ribs, trace the backbone, down
to the hollow of midsection, the jutting of hipbones above black jeans with a
belt that has been knotted to keep them from slipping from his attenuated body.
Came back wrong.
He doesn't look up at her.
"Is he gonna be
um
okay?" She watches Spike, completely
baffled.
"Think so," Spike mutters. "Darts were loaded for you though.
He's
hes just a human."
Buffy flinches slightly at the implication of his words. Spike reaches for Warren's
wrist, pulls it up to study his watch. And so the weirdness continues.
"Got an appointment somewhere, Spike? Planning to get in a little light
mugging before bedtime? Maybe something to top off all the kidnapping and murder?"
He looks up at her as if she's the crazy one. "What?"
Hes not taking any of the bait shes setting out. "Never mind.
You
uh
wanna fill me in on just what the hells going on
here?"
He way-too-carefully places the limp arm back down and settles back to sit beside
the sleeping geek. "Not really.
You should go."
"Need some alone time with your little nerd buddy?" She arches an eyebrow.
Spike snorts but doesn't say anything.
"Tell me anyway Spike," she says in her best exasperated, I'm-about-to-kick-your-ass
tone.
He sighs but cooperates without a fight. It doesnt seem right without the
customary roughing up. She doesnt know how to react to this new Spike.
His compliance is really disturbing. "Was gonna make you his
uh
slave.
Control you, yknow?"
"His what? How?"
"Mind control. Of sorts. He stops and blinks slowly, as if its
an effort for him to focus his thoughts into speech. Gonna
put a
chip in your head. Have himself a pet Slayer. Take over the world. That sort
of thing."
Spike is fixated on the shallow rise and fall of Warren's chest. She can tell
that he's listening to the guy's heartbeat. Sensing for anything that would indicate
that something is wrong.
"A chip in my head?"
Spike nods. "Yeah."
"A chip
like yours?"
Spike doesn't answer.
Whoah. She leans against the table, staring at him.
"That's where youve been? All this time? That's what happened?"
He's not going to answer.
Hes controlling you, then. The stuff youve been doing – killing – hes
been making you do it?
Spike shakes his head. Cant make me do anything. My decision. I have
free will, you know.
Buffy stares at him, perplexed.
It was your decision to attack Anya? To help him kidnap me? Youre
not
being forced somehow?
He turns his head away so that she cant see his face.
Not
forced, he whispers. Made my choice. Could
have refused, couldnt I?
Okay, youre not making any sense, Spike.
He turns back to continue his vigil over Warren. He keeps his head tilted enough
that its difficult to see his face, but she recognizes the all-too-familiar
look of someone who is trying not to show weakness. Too late for that. The
blood continues to flow – drip, drip. Spike seems dazed, watching the droplets
form into a spreading pattern on Warrens shirt. He doesnt seem too
concerned about the not making sense.
She looks down at the unconscious figure before them.
"Okay, that's it." She stands up. Reaching down, she grabs Spike by
the arm. "C'mon. Let's get the hell out of here. Figure this whole thing
out."
He wrenches away from her before she can pull him up. "No!"
"What are you talking about? We've got to get you out of here."
"Can't. Have to be here when he wakes up."
"Or what?"
He finally looks up at her when he answers, his voice full of misery. "Don't – dont
know
something
it'll be
"
He shakes his head again. Like theres a swarm of bees or something flying
around his head, distracting him.
Buffy takes a breath, remembering the sight of Spike curled up on the floor of
the Magic Box. She squats down beside him and looks again at Warren, her expression
grim. "And if he doesn't wake up?"
Spike looks down again. He actually shudders. "It'll be worse."
Sighing, she stands up again and begins pacing. Okay. Situation here. What would
Giles do? What should the Slayer do? Help the vampire? Thats not the right
answer, is it? And
had she just suggested killing Warren? What the
hell is wrong with her? She cant kill a human, even if he did –
She wraps her arms around herself again.
Even if she were to – hypothetically – try to kill Warren,
she gets the feeling that Spike might be compelled to try to stop her. Although
they both know hed fail.
Okay, she announces. Heres what were gonna do.
Um
we keep loser-boy here unconscious as long as we can, until we can find
out a way to keep him from hurting you. If hes figured out a way to control
you through your chip, then maybe Willow could –
Shes interrupted by a brittle laugh from Spike. Dont think
Wills gonna want to help me, luv.
Buffy sucks in a breath. Tara. God. Another flash of Spike hovering over
Tara, bringing a blood-drenched hand to his mouth. She grips the stake tighter
and pushes the memory aside. No. She has to focus. She cant – cant
let that
She shakes her head. No. If – if we explain to Willow
she – shes
good with the techie stuff and she
We just need to explain to her. Itll
be okay. Ill take care of it. Ill fix this.
Another vague, infuriating little smile passes across his lips. Get out
of here Buffy. Youre free now, right? Stake me if you want. I dont
care. Just
get away from me. I dont want your help.
Well, Spike
sometimes you dont have a choice. Buffy holds
out her hand. Come on.
Always a choice, he mutters. He doesnt seem to be talking to
her. Hes still just watching the blood drip down. Got to do the smart
thing.
Spike
Wincing, he presses the palm of his hand against his head and looks sideways
at her, noticing her outstretched hand for the first time. No-brainer, he
mutters.
Theres a knot of something building in the pit of her stomach. She thinks
it might be horror. Or rage. Something unproductive, thats for sure. She
tries again, more forcefully. Spike, this is ridiculous. We have to get
you out of here. Just
come on. Get up.
His eyes dart with confusion from her to Warren and back to the hand she holds
out to him. He glares at it suspiciously. She sees his gaze drift to her other
hand. The one holding the stake. He licks his lips. She moves it behind her back,
out of sight. Then, reconsidering, she brings it back out and holds it up for
him to see before tossing it across the room. She holds up her empty hands to
let him know he can trust her.
He frowns. That was stupid. He almost sounds like himself for a moment.
I trust you, she lies.
Haunted eyes peer into her own. The whites of his eyes have gone almost completely
red. It makes the blue of his irises seem pale; washed out by comparison. Solarized.
His face is tight. Pinched into a pained expression she had become all too familiar
with during her moms illness. He appraises her.
No you dont. He states it as a fact, neither hurt nor surprised
by the knowledge.
I
I dont want to hurt you. She realizes as she says it
that she really doesnt.
He runs his fingers over his mouth and looks down at them, in dazed fascination.
Theyve come away covered in blood.
He sniffs. Cant do it myself you know
chip.
She repeats herself, reinforcing the truth of it to the both of them. I
dont want to hurt you.
He nods, taking that in. Still not looking at her. He licks blood from his fingers
thoughtfully. Hes not going to come with her. Not without a fight. She
could probably knock him out
with the tranq gun or otherwise. But she can
work a whole lot faster without dragging around the unconscious undead. Best
not to disturb him any more than he already is.
Listen
he should be out for awhile, right? She indicates Warren
with the toe of her shoe, pulling back quickly as Spike snaps instantly to attention,
tracking the progress of her foot as it moves toward the prone figure. Looks
like Warren trained him well. She swallows back that feeling in the pit of her
stomach. If that feeling makes it to the surface, very bad things will happen
to Warren. She cant let that happen.
Once satisfied that shes not making any more threatening gestures toward
his charge, Spike replies, Yeah, think so.
Good. Okay. You go ahead and stay here with him. Im going to find
Willow. Dont worry. Well fix this.
Yeah. Willowll fix it, he agrees. She hesitates a moment, eyeing
him before turning to the door. She really doesnt like the way he says
it.
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